Thursday, November 10, 2011

Of bedrooms & babies

Last year for Christmas, our kids' "big gift" was redoing their bedrooms. When Roo was born, we moved Monkey into Lamb's room (which is decidedly girly) and gave Roo the nursery; and we decided to go ahead and move the boys together, give Lamb her own space, and redecorate both rooms.

Yes, that was eleven months ago. It's not done yet.

So finally this week we are moving ahead with the plans. Roo's room is cleared out, and last night Mr. Fantastic patched the holes in the drywall. Yep, we're going lightning fast now, folks!

All of this means that our three children are now all sleeping in one room. On Monday I tore down the crib, moved it into the big kids' room, and put it back together. It was no small feat, and I'm pretty darn proud of myself.

Meanwhile, Roo thinks that sharing a room with his siblings is the coolest thing ever. He does not, however, feel the need to sleep in there. The first night, he kept everybody up until 9:00. (Bedtime for Roo is 7:00, and 7:30 for Lamb and Monkey.) The second night he went to sleep fine, but woke everyone up at 6:00 AM--and by everyone, I mean our entire family. And this morning I am sitting in the darkness of my living room, pouting and typing while he hops all over and has a blast. He woke me up at 5:10.

Until Monday, if Roo had gotten up at 5:10 (happy, not crying), I would have given him his binky, rubbed his back, and left the room. I would have gone back to my room, crawled back in bed, and turned off the monitor. He wouldn't have gone right back to sleep, but he would have eventually. And if he didn't, he would be safe in his crib, and I would have gotten some more rest--and I could have heard if he had started to get upset, which he wouldn't have.

But now that's all changed. Now if I just let him stay in his crib, he'll wake up everyone in the process. And I'm being a great big giant baby about the whole thing.

I see on Facebook when my friends get awakened bright and early by their kiddos. They're not happy, but they make the best of it. So why am I so darn frustrated? I'm worried, for one thing, that this is going to become his new "thing", and I do NOT want 5 AM to be a "thing". But seriously? Between me and Roo, one of us is going to have to act like a grown-up here, and I'm pretty sure it's going to be me.

I'm realizing more and more that I can be like a toddler with God when things don't go my way. Somewhere inside of me, I believe that I will get my way if I throw a big enough fit. That's what I did when we found out that Roo has Down's--I was angry and pouty for MONTHS, trying to "prove" to God that He was wrong to allow this in our lives. And now I'm doing it over an early wake-up time. The problem is... it doesn't actually accomplish anything. My kids' tantrums don't make me want to give them what they want, and I'm pretty sure it's not going to work for me either. So it's probably time to get over myself and move on, right?

It's sort of a vicious cycle... I get mad about the situation... I realize how silly is it and get mad at myself for BEING mad about the situation... and then I get mad that I'm in the situation all over again.

Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who does dumb stuff like this...!

By the way, I read somewhere that, if you're upset over something that you know is not a big deal, verbalizing your feelings can help diffuse the situation. So I looked at Roo and said out loud, "I'm angry at you. I'm angry because you woke up two hours early, and I want you to sleep longer." And that definitely worked--hearing it out loud helped to put things in perspective.

So tell me, what pushes your buttons but shouldn't? Help me out here, friends, so I don't feel like the only kook who gets upset over the little things.

And now that I have sufficiently vented, I think it's time to turn on some lights and face the day. The dishes aren't going to do themselves--I know, I've tested that theory.

1 comment:

Chrissy said...

Ditto on the early morning feelings.
Some mom's are all "oh good! He's up and happy!" I'm like... "Dude. It's dark. What three year old wakes up in the dark?!?"
It stinks.
I'm sorry.
6am feels nice after a week of 5am due to the stupid Daylight Screwing-You-Up Time change.