Disclaimer: I posted this over on my blog a few months ago, but in re-reading it recently, I was reminded afresh at how much God wants to wrap His hands around my life and help steady it if I will just allow Him. Did you know we matter to Him? Did you know we can build amazing towers with our lives if we ask for His support? I pray you’ll be blessed by this today.
Levi is my now two-year-old (Someone please tell me when that happened and how to stop the train. I can't believe the chubby cuteness I love is TWO. It's just not possible.), and we are noticing more and more of his personality growing and coming out. He is utterly and completely enchanting. Since I am an oldest child, I am seeing so much of my own personality coming out in him and usually I just laugh, but more often than not, lately I am taking pause and really watching. And through it, God is really teaching me not only about Levi (and our relationship), but myself and our relationship (mine and God's).
A few weeks ago, Matt and I were getting ready to go somewhere and Levi was playing in our room with his blocks. He LOVES to stack them and then cheer for himself and then make us cheer for him. ("Mo-mma? Yay! [while clapping hands]") Because he's just a wee man, he doesn't always get it right because his foundation isn’t solid or he's building his towers on the rug in our room, so they topple over after only a few blocks being stacked upon each other. This particular morning, he got 3 three blocks stacked before the whole thing came crashing down.
His response was to kick and hit out at the blocks, then cry and drop to his bottom very hard. I was really taken aback, but I calmly (for once, go Momma!) dropped to his side and said, "It's okay, Levi. You can just try again. Here, Momma will help you." But he didn't really want to try again. UNTIL he saw that the two blocks I stacked weren't falling over. Then, with my hands steadying his wobbly tower, he got every single block stacked. And he was so proud.
It was only then that I felt God saying to me, "Don't you react to things the same way sometimes? Don't you cry and kick out when you try something ONCE and then decide that you'll never try again? Don't you think I am right there waiting to help and steady your wobbly tower?"
There have been so many times in my life that I've either never even tried or tried once without success that I say, "Never again." Especially spiritual things. "Oh, I'll never finish this Bible study. I might as well just give up. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to get out of it, anyway." "Oh, well, see, I tried exercising, but it was just so hard and I felt so awkward and uncomfortable that it's just useless. I will always be this way." “See? I tried opening up to that person/reached out in an uncomfortable situation and now look. They don’t want to be my friend.” Or it could be something that God is calling me to do that I feel incapable of doing; inadequate ("Are you sure you have the right girl, God?" Just call me Moses.)
But God says "no" to that. Just like I wouldn't let Levi give up and admit failure, He won't and doesn't let me give up or admit failure. He is right there and He will drop to my side any time I need Him. Isn't that comforting? My little wobbly towers matter to the King of Kings. He wants to see me succeed and flourish. Just like I want to see Levi succeed and flourish. Incredible.
I know I've been a bit redundant, but I am still mulling over and marveling at the lesson God taught me through Levi and his alphabet blocks. If we are open to the Holy Spirit and looking for Him during our day, God will show us amazing things.
I am praying that God will show you your own wobbly towers that He is just aching to steady and help you erect.
Blessings,
Erin
Showing posts with label Erin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Erin. Show all posts
Friday, June 3, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Guest Blogger: Erin
Hi again! Today I introduce our third guest blogger during my Mozambique mission. Erin is a dear, dear friend who has moved entirely too far away. She is a wonderful mom to 2 adorable little boys, and she blogs at The Wonder Years. Enjoy, & have a great weekend!
Hi everyone! As you know, I’m Erin, a friend of Katy’s from college. You know, way back in the olden years.
I can’t really remember not being friends with Katy, but I vaguely remember how we met (such a ringing endorsement, I know). Our junior years, we happened to live on the same floor in Miller Hall (oh, how this is bringing back memories) across the hall from one another. Since Heidelberg is such a small school, I knew who Katy was, but we hadn’t had any classes together. And then, we began hanging out and talking. We discovered a mutual love of music, worship and singing, specifically, as well as similar experiences in our past, for good and bad. And through our sharing and getting to know each other, God helped us form what has become to me one of the dearest friendships I’ve ever had. And though I don’t get to see her nearly as often as I would like, ours is a friendship that is one of those beautiful ones where you can go a while between catching up, but it’s like time hasn’t stopped. She is truly one of the best friends I could ask for and that she is a sister in Christ just makes me all the more blessed.
Okay, that’s enough of that. :)
When Katy asked me to guest blog during her trip to Mozambique, I was honored that she would want me to share with you all; I’m praying now that she doesn’t lose all of her readers! :)
I’ve been praying about what I should share with you all, and I pray that God will speak through me and maybe touch some of you.
Since I have become a mother, I have struggled to find the balance between keeping our home clean and picked up (what mother hasn’t?) and making sure I’m spending enough time with Levi and Seth. I found myself in a never-ending cycle of guilt at the end of every day. “Oh, I didn’t get the [insert daily household chore here] done today. I guess I spent too much time with the boys.” “Oh, I did too much cleaning/bills/cooking/laundry today...I should have been spending more time interacting with the boys.”
Do you see the pattern? Every day, every day, I would vacillate between guilt over “should haves.” It became a tremendous burden, and there were times that I felt a literal weight on my shoulders. I was not living a victorious life, and I was not honoring God with my time or “accomplishments.” Now, don’t get me wrong, every thing I was doing had a purpose and every minute I spend with my sons is, I believe, furthering the kingdom of God, but my motivation was where I was going astray. I was placing a set of expectations on myself that no one was holding me to but myself! Crazy, isn’t it?
Then, one afternoon, I realized (after a timely conversation) that the “should haves” were killing me and robbing me of joy that I could have every day! From that afternoon till I write this, God has been working in me and releasing me from those expectations that weren’t from Him to begin with. It’s been a long road, and I’m not completely there, but the peace that has come from realizing the freedom I can have (and that God wants me to have) has been life changing.
Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” I believe I was living my life as the foolish woman in this verse. I was so consumed with my house that I was tearing it down by prioritizing things and my home over my husband and children (by being consumed with a false set of expectations, not actual neglect). Now, I’m rebuilding it through the help of the Lord (and a very timely Bible study I can’t recommend enough--‘Breaking Free’ by Beth Moore) and a support system of great friends and my husband.
I encourage you to ask God to reveal any area(s) in which you might be like the foolish woman and tearing down your house. The great thing (well, one of the great things) about our God is that if He shows it to you, He will help you gain freedom from it. I promise.
Blessings and love,
Erin
Hi everyone! As you know, I’m Erin, a friend of Katy’s from college. You know, way back in the olden years.
I can’t really remember not being friends with Katy, but I vaguely remember how we met (such a ringing endorsement, I know). Our junior years, we happened to live on the same floor in Miller Hall (oh, how this is bringing back memories) across the hall from one another. Since Heidelberg is such a small school, I knew who Katy was, but we hadn’t had any classes together. And then, we began hanging out and talking. We discovered a mutual love of music, worship and singing, specifically, as well as similar experiences in our past, for good and bad. And through our sharing and getting to know each other, God helped us form what has become to me one of the dearest friendships I’ve ever had. And though I don’t get to see her nearly as often as I would like, ours is a friendship that is one of those beautiful ones where you can go a while between catching up, but it’s like time hasn’t stopped. She is truly one of the best friends I could ask for and that she is a sister in Christ just makes me all the more blessed.
Okay, that’s enough of that. :)
When Katy asked me to guest blog during her trip to Mozambique, I was honored that she would want me to share with you all; I’m praying now that she doesn’t lose all of her readers! :)
I’ve been praying about what I should share with you all, and I pray that God will speak through me and maybe touch some of you.
Since I have become a mother, I have struggled to find the balance between keeping our home clean and picked up (what mother hasn’t?) and making sure I’m spending enough time with Levi and Seth. I found myself in a never-ending cycle of guilt at the end of every day. “Oh, I didn’t get the [insert daily household chore here] done today. I guess I spent too much time with the boys.” “Oh, I did too much cleaning/bills/cooking/laundry today...I should have been spending more time interacting with the boys.”
Do you see the pattern? Every day, every day, I would vacillate between guilt over “should haves.” It became a tremendous burden, and there were times that I felt a literal weight on my shoulders. I was not living a victorious life, and I was not honoring God with my time or “accomplishments.” Now, don’t get me wrong, every thing I was doing had a purpose and every minute I spend with my sons is, I believe, furthering the kingdom of God, but my motivation was where I was going astray. I was placing a set of expectations on myself that no one was holding me to but myself! Crazy, isn’t it?
Then, one afternoon, I realized (after a timely conversation) that the “should haves” were killing me and robbing me of joy that I could have every day! From that afternoon till I write this, God has been working in me and releasing me from those expectations that weren’t from Him to begin with. It’s been a long road, and I’m not completely there, but the peace that has come from realizing the freedom I can have (and that God wants me to have) has been life changing.
Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” I believe I was living my life as the foolish woman in this verse. I was so consumed with my house that I was tearing it down by prioritizing things and my home over my husband and children (by being consumed with a false set of expectations, not actual neglect). Now, I’m rebuilding it through the help of the Lord (and a very timely Bible study I can’t recommend enough--‘Breaking Free’ by Beth Moore) and a support system of great friends and my husband.
I encourage you to ask God to reveal any area(s) in which you might be like the foolish woman and tearing down your house. The great thing (well, one of the great things) about our God is that if He shows it to you, He will help you gain freedom from it. I promise.
Blessings and love,
Erin
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)