Compassion

I have a rather humbling confession to make... compassion is not my strong suit.


Don't get me wrong. I feel strongly for the wronged in our world. The older I get, as a matter of fact, the more emotional I become about the state of our society. Children with Down syndrome around the world who are abandoned--or even aborted--tear my heart in two. Thoughts of the beautiful people I met in Mozambique three years ago flood me with passion to change the world. Even sentimental commercials make me teary--something that just did.not.happen 10 years ago.


But as a mom, my compassion can be lacking. When my kids mess up, sympathy is not my "go to" response--although I'm working on it. I never thought of myself as an angry person until I had a restless infant, a stubborn toddler, a sassy tween. Oy vey.


And when it comes to sickness, I'm not much better. Oh sure, when my kiddos cry, I think, "My poor baby." But after a while, my compassion is all used up. Sometimes I think the drama is bigger than the illness. But even worse is when I can TELL that it is genuine, and I have done everything I know to do and the tears persist and I think, "Why are you trying to make me feel bad? I have done everything I can for you! Just feel miserable in silence!" Like they are crying at me to make me feel like a bad mom--because, you know, it is obviously all about me. Their sickness and misery and tears couldn't possibly be about them and their own feelings.


Oh my word, I am the worst mom ever.


No, I get it. I recognize that I am not the worst mom EVER. But seriously, this area needs a LOT of work.


So on Monday I got a call from the school nurse that Lamb had a "rash of unidentified origin" on her hands and feet, and even though she felt fine and had no fever, she could not be at school because Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease has been making the rounds. (I took her to the pediatrician later that day, who confirmed that it is indeed Hand, Foot, and Mouth.) For the first two days, it was pretty fun--she felt fine, so we played games, watched movies, even did a little shopping. But sometime on Tuesday afternoon, she took a sharp turn for the worse.


By Thursday, all she wanted was for me to snuggle her. All day. All.day. I was loving it at first. A chance to snuggle my sassy and independent 9-year-old? Yes please! A chance to just hang out and chat and watch "Cupcake Wars"? Definitely! Knowing that my hugs and snuggles could calm her tears? Wahoo! But soon she had to be touching me at every moment, I couldn't even stand up without sending her into a fit of tears. If I managed to sit on the floor while she was on the couch, she could cling to my arm or shoulder. And even when I was right up next to her, she would cry out, "Mommy, I don't feel good! Mommy! MOMMY! I DON'T FEEL GOOD!!!!"


I hate that she doesn't feel good. I HATE that for her. But seriously, I am at the end of myself here.


And then yesterday I got a call from the school nurse. I saw the number and thought, "How nice that they are calling to check up on Lamb." Instead, I heard, "I have Monkey here in the office. I know that his sister is home with Hand, Foot, and Mouth, and he has just a few faint spots on his chin and hands."


Lovely.


Is there a compassion pill I can take somewhere? I'm gonna need an extra dose.

Your turn! (It's a contest!)

***Edited to add 2 other ways to enter--I knew I was forgetting something!***

Alright, my friends, I have doled out my share of honesty this week.  I have given you more insight into my life/adoption journey, I have admitted to being a giant procrastinator, and yesterday I let you all see that I tend to be a bit insecure.  That's about as transparent as I can be in 5 days' time.

So now it's your turn.  Share your confessions with me.  I have done this once before with "Mommy Confessions", but now it's just general stuff, whatever you want to confess.  It can be AA-style ("Hi, my name is Katy and I'm a confess-aholic."), it can be serious ("I would wave my magic wand and make Roo a 'typical' kid in an instant if I could."), it can be funny ("I took my eyes off my 1-year-old yesterday for TWO SECONDS and found him eating toilet paper."), it can be... well, let's keep it to things that won't be held against you in a court of law, 'k?

And why should you share your confessions for me and the two other people who read this all the world to see?  Well, because misery loves company for one.  Oh, and if that's not enough, there's a $25 Kohl's gift card and a $10 Starbucks gift card in it for 2 lucky posters!

Here are the rules:

• Score 1 entry for each comment you leave with a confession
• Score 1 entry for sharing Diary of a Zookeeper on Facebook, Twitter, or other social sites (Leave a comment each time you share the blog--limit 1 time a day)
• Get 1 additional entry for becoming a follower of Diary of a Zookeeper (Leave a comment--if you're already a follower, you can leave a comment as well)
• Get 1 additional entry if you "like" Diary of a Zookeeper on Facebook (Leave a comment--again, you can also leave a comment if you already "like" us on Facebook)  Posting on my wall would be appreciated but is not required.  :-)
• And just for kicks, you can earn an additional entry for each $5 you contribute to the Mozambique Mission using the ChipIn link on the right.  (Leave a comment for each $5--every comment will be 1 entry)
• The contest will end at 11:59 PM on Wednesday, May 3.  I will use random.org to pick winners and post them on Thursday.

So let's hear it!  :-)

Mommy Confessions & a Giveaway!

So.... when I said we would do a giveaway on Monday... I didn't say it would be FIRST THING on Monday, right?  So it's OK that it has taken me until about 10 PM to get on this, right?  OK, good.  Glad we're all on the same page.  I'll come back to the giveaway in a minute.

First, I need to get a few things off my chest.  In today's Supermom culture, it can be a bit intimidating to let our imperfections be known to each other.  But I have let it build up all I can--I need to confess!  Here are a few less than perfect things you may or may not have suspected about me.

I confess that...

• I sometimes use PBS Kids as a babysitter.  (Um, I mean while I get housework done.  Not while I actually leave the house.  I'm confessing to things that are embarrassing here, not dangerous.)
• I've been known to use little white lies to get my kids to eat vegetables... like, "WHOA!  When you took that bite of broccoli, your left bicep GOT BIGGER!  Quick, take another bite so that your right one catches up!"
• I often drive Lamb to school wearing my PJs.  (I mean, I'm wearing my PJs.  Lamb is fully dressed.)
• Often, those PJs are a pair of sweats that I bought from Target in 2005, which now contain several more holes than they did when I purchased them.  Including one smack dab on my rear end.  (Aren't you thankful I don't walk her to the door?)
• I once got frustrated when I was reading a book and Lamb kept interrupting me.  I finally looked at her and sternly said, "Would you please just STOP and give me a few minutes to read????"  She asked what my book was about, and I angrily responded, "IT'S ABOUT HOW I CAN BE A BETTER MOMMY!"  (And I wasn't kidding.)  And yes, I did pick up on the irony right away.

Now, don't leave me all alone out here with my confessions hanging there awkwardly as you all stare and say, "Wow, I thought she was a better mom than that."  (Which, of course, I AM, now that I have read my book and all...)  I want to hear your mommy confessions.  What do you need to share with the world?  It'll feel better to get it off your chest, I promise.

And as an added incentive... Yes, friends, this is where the giveaway comes in!  Welcome to our first ever sponsored giveaway!!!  Thanks to Melissa at The Hair Pretties Mom, we have a great prize that will go to one of this post's lucky commenters.  Melissa makes gorgeous bows of all shapes & sizes (and Lamb has her own mini-collection of Melissa's handiwork), but today she is sharing with us one of her other unique & beautiful creations: a designer baby wipes case!  Check out some of the awesome options...

Aren't they fabulous?  Some are fun, some are cute, some are trendy--and they are all great!  :-)  I tell you, your diaper bag isn't complete without one.  And really, I have determined over the past 5 or so years that wipes are a very useful tool to have around even when you don't have a baby with you.  These cases would be the perfect way to carry wipes in your purse, even if your baby days are done!

So what do you have to do to get a case of your very own?  CONFESS!  Tell me your mommy confessions, and you'll be entered to win one of Melissa's designer wipes cases.  The winner can choose from one of Melissa's premade designs or get a custom-made case!  Just think of the possibilities!

Here are the rules: You may enter as many times as you like.  1 entry per confession.  (Please put each confession in a separate post.)  The contest will end at 11:59 PM on Thursday, and random.org will select a winner to be announced on Friday.  Your confessions can be sad, serious, crazy, creative... let's hear it!  (And to be honest, my confessions were originally going to be slightly more serious in nature, but I've had an exhausting day and I'm feeling a little loopy.  So what you get is what you got!)

So... confess away!  And good luck!