Thursday, March 14, 2013

Mixed Signals

What the man said: "Oh, we got a new shower curtain."

What the woman heard: "Really? You decided that what we needed to spend money on right now was a shower curtain? And out of all of the shower curtains in the world, this is the one you liked BEST? You really thought it was a good idea to purchase this, bring it home, and display it in our house? Honestly, I don't know why I even trust you with our children!"

What the man really meant: "Oh, we got a new shower curtain."

True story.

Friday, March 1, 2013

So far today...

...I woke up from very little sleep thanks to my sweet little Roo, who continues to hate sleep.

...Lamb took THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES to get dressed and brush her hair. 35 minutes! She's seven, people!

...Monkey had a meltdown because he couldn't decide what shoes to wear for "Funny Feet Friday." (They've had fun themed days this week to celebrate Dr. Seuss' birthday.)

...A mouse ran out of our first floor bathroom and stared me down.

...I took oatmeal out of the microwave too fast and spilled it everywhere. Ev.ery.where.

...I walked into my bathroom and found my big mirror covered with toothpaste-y water because Monkey decided that was how hard he needed to shake his toothbrush when he was done. This was followed by Monkey Meltdown #2.

...Lamb took a 20-minute potty break...5 minutes before the bus came.

...Both of my big kids just in general took their dawdling tendencies to new heights.

...The kids ran into school (after I drove them there) less than a minute before the "tardy bell."

...I pulled into my driveway not realizing that it had turned into a complete sheet of ice, and drove into one of the two brick pillars that flank our drive.

MULLIGAN! I want to take a mulligan!