Hi again! Today I introduce our third guest blogger during my Mozambique mission. Erin is a dear, dear friend who has moved entirely too far away. She is a wonderful mom to 2 adorable little boys, and she blogs at The Wonder Years. Enjoy, & have a great weekend!
Hi everyone! As you know, I’m Erin, a friend of Katy’s from college. You know, way back in the olden years.
I can’t really remember not being friends with Katy, but I vaguely remember how we met (such a ringing endorsement, I know). Our junior years, we happened to live on the same floor in Miller Hall (oh, how this is bringing back memories) across the hall from one another. Since Heidelberg is such a small school, I knew who Katy was, but we hadn’t had any classes together. And then, we began hanging out and talking. We discovered a mutual love of music, worship and singing, specifically, as well as similar experiences in our past, for good and bad. And through our sharing and getting to know each other, God helped us form what has become to me one of the dearest friendships I’ve ever had. And though I don’t get to see her nearly as often as I would like, ours is a friendship that is one of those beautiful ones where you can go a while between catching up, but it’s like time hasn’t stopped. She is truly one of the best friends I could ask for and that she is a sister in Christ just makes me all the more blessed.
Okay, that’s enough of that. :)
When Katy asked me to guest blog during her trip to Mozambique, I was honored that she would want me to share with you all; I’m praying now that she doesn’t lose all of her readers! :)
I’ve been praying about what I should share with you all, and I pray that God will speak through me and maybe touch some of you.
Since I have become a mother, I have struggled to find the balance between keeping our home clean and picked up (what mother hasn’t?) and making sure I’m spending enough time with Levi and Seth. I found myself in a never-ending cycle of guilt at the end of every day. “Oh, I didn’t get the [insert daily household chore here] done today. I guess I spent too much time with the boys.” “Oh, I did too much cleaning/bills/cooking/laundry today...I should have been spending more time interacting with the boys.”
Do you see the pattern? Every day, every day, I would vacillate between guilt over “should haves.” It became a tremendous burden, and there were times that I felt a literal weight on my shoulders. I was not living a victorious life, and I was not honoring God with my time or “accomplishments.” Now, don’t get me wrong, every thing I was doing had a purpose and every minute I spend with my sons is, I believe, furthering the kingdom of God, but my motivation was where I was going astray. I was placing a set of expectations on myself that no one was holding me to but myself! Crazy, isn’t it?
Then, one afternoon, I realized (after a timely conversation) that the “should haves” were killing me and robbing me of joy that I could have every day! From that afternoon till I write this, God has been working in me and releasing me from those expectations that weren’t from Him to begin with. It’s been a long road, and I’m not completely there, but the peace that has come from realizing the freedom I can have (and that God wants me to have) has been life changing.
Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” I believe I was living my life as the foolish woman in this verse. I was so consumed with my house that I was tearing it down by prioritizing things and my home over my husband and children (by being consumed with a false set of expectations, not actual neglect). Now, I’m rebuilding it through the help of the Lord (and a very timely Bible study I can’t recommend enough--‘Breaking Free’ by Beth Moore) and a support system of great friends and my husband.
I encourage you to ask God to reveal any area(s) in which you might be like the foolish woman and tearing down your house. The great thing (well, one of the great things) about our God is that if He shows it to you, He will help you gain freedom from it. I promise.
Blessings and love,