Disclaimer: I posted this over on my blog a few months ago, but in re-reading it recently, I was reminded afresh at how much God wants to wrap His hands around my life and help steady it if I will just allow Him. Did you know we matter to Him? Did you know we can build amazing towers with our lives if we ask for His support? I pray you’ll be blessed by this today.
Levi is my now two-year-old (Someone please tell me when that happened and how to stop the train. I can't believe the chubby cuteness I love is TWO. It's just not possible.), and we are noticing more and more of his personality growing and coming out. He is utterly and completely enchanting. Since I am an oldest child, I am seeing so much of my own personality coming out in him and usually I just laugh, but more often than not, lately I am taking pause and really watching. And through it, God is really teaching me not only about Levi (and our relationship), but myself and our relationship (mine and God's).
A few weeks ago, Matt and I were getting ready to go somewhere and Levi was playing in our room with his blocks. He LOVES to stack them and then cheer for himself and then make us cheer for him. ("Mo-mma? Yay! [while clapping hands]") Because he's just a wee man, he doesn't always get it right because his foundation isn’t solid or he's building his towers on the rug in our room, so they topple over after only a few blocks being stacked upon each other. This particular morning, he got 3 three blocks stacked before the whole thing came crashing down.
His response was to kick and hit out at the blocks, then cry and drop to his bottom very hard. I was really taken aback, but I calmly (for once, go Momma!) dropped to his side and said, "It's okay, Levi. You can just try again. Here, Momma will help you." But he didn't really want to try again. UNTIL he saw that the two blocks I stacked weren't falling over. Then, with my hands steadying his wobbly tower, he got every single block stacked. And he was so proud.
It was only then that I felt God saying to me, "Don't you react to things the same way sometimes? Don't you cry and kick out when you try something ONCE and then decide that you'll never try again? Don't you think I am right there waiting to help and steady your wobbly tower?"
There have been so many times in my life that I've either never even tried or tried once without success that I say, "Never again." Especially spiritual things. "Oh, I'll never finish this Bible study. I might as well just give up. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to get out of it, anyway." "Oh, well, see, I tried exercising, but it was just so hard and I felt so awkward and uncomfortable that it's just useless. I will always be this way." “See? I tried opening up to that person/reached out in an uncomfortable situation and now look. They don’t want to be my friend.” Or it could be something that God is calling me to do that I feel incapable of doing; inadequate ("Are you sure you have the right girl, God?" Just call me Moses.)
But God says "no" to that. Just like I wouldn't let Levi give up and admit failure, He won't and doesn't let me give up or admit failure. He is right there and He will drop to my side any time I need Him. Isn't that comforting? My little wobbly towers matter to the King of Kings. He wants to see me succeed and flourish. Just like I want to see Levi succeed and flourish. Incredible.
I know I've been a bit redundant, but I am still mulling over and marveling at the lesson God taught me through Levi and his alphabet blocks. If we are open to the Holy Spirit and looking for Him during our day, God will show us amazing things.
I am praying that God will show you your own wobbly towers that He is just aching to steady and help you erect.