Every time that I think I have my story figured out, it changes. Growing up, adoption was my story. I was the adopted girl. Not in a bad way--I kind of liked it, if truth be told. (OK, I liked it a lot.) As I got older, I pursued my biological roots, and that took on a life of its own. And I just "knew" that would be my story to share with the world.
After I got married, infertility became a new twist in my story. Waiting and waiting for those two lines to appear on the stick, wondering if it was ever going to happen. And I thought maybe this would be my chance to bring my adoption full circle, if my hubby and I would now adopt our own children rather than having them biologically.
And then, I got pregnant. And motherhood changed my story all over again. I felt like I lost my identity as a mom, I got swallowed up in diapers and nap times and laundry and all of the many things moms do every day. And when I had my second baby and experienced post-partum depression, that lost feeling took a dark turn. I struggled to keep my head above water, I had to find an identity apart from my children.
That's when I realized the true core of my entire story: My identity. Through my adoption, my marriage, my worries about whether or not I would be a mom, and then losing myself in motherhood, one thing remained constant: who I am in Christ. I needed that anchor to keep the winds of life from tossing me around.
And just when I was really able to grab hold of that--and thought that my life story was really figured out and settled... I had Roo, my baby with Down syndrome. And I felt lost at sea again.
This time, I spent months wandering, lost in depression and anger. I couldn't figure out why God made this a part of my story, of my baby's story.
But you know what? It's still the same theme. Because I am a unique creation in Christ, created for a unique purpose... and so is my baby. He has been created to be something that no one else is, to do something that no one else can do. He was created exactly the way God intended him to be. He has an identity in Christ. A pretty awesome one.