Monday, February 18, 2013

The Best Mom Ever: A Recipe

Have you wondered what it takes to be the Best Mom Ever? Have you spent years questioning your parenting decisions? Have you worked and worked to be a good mom, only to have your children embarrass you with their behavior--or worse, get angry with you for your efforts? Have you been waiting and waiting for your "Mom of the Year" trophy to arrive in the mail with no results? Well, never fear! I have come up with the perfect recipe for being a great parent... AND it's a lot less complicated (and cheaper) than I have been making it out to be for the past 7 1/2 years!!!!

The Best Mom Ever
You'll need:
1 day off from school
1 vehicle, big enough to fit you and your children
$5 (plus money to pay overdue fees at the library, if needed)

What to do:
1. Start by bribing assuring your children that you can go to the library as soon as their rooms are clean and they are dressed. The more desperate they are for new reading material, movies, and puzzles, the less time this will take. Be prepared to call out encouragingly to keep them motivated as needed. Note: If you have a trouble-making toddler in the house, you may need to contain him/her in a crib or Pack 'n Play for this step. (As an added bonus, you can also use this time to fold laundry or do other household tasks!)

2. Drive to the library, allowing them the rare treat of watching a DVD in the vehicle, if possible. This piece of the recipe can take as little as a few minutes, or up to an hour or more, depending on the time available and how involved your children become in searching and playing.

3. Check out any selected materials at the library, paying fees as necessary. If applicable, allow your children to now watch a DVD they selected at the library for the rest of the trip.

4. This is the key step--pay close attention! Despite the several meals' worth of leftovers you may have at home, drive directly to Little Caesar's Pizza (you know you don't feel like the going through the effort of figuring out who wants which leftovers and heating them up and all that hassle), and get a Hot & Ready Pizza for FIVE DOLLARS. Yep, 5 bucks can buy you and your children lunch! Who knew?!

5. Drive home (still watching the library movie), serve up some pizza, and wait to hear your children say, "YES! You are the BEST. MOMMY. EVER!!!!"

That's it, friends! Just those 5 simple steps will take you from being plain old Mom to "BEST MOMMY EVER!" (AND your kids' rooms are clean!) I don't know about you, but I feel like I have wasted so much time and money. I had no idea it was THIS EASY. Try it out for yourself, and don't forget to tell your friends!

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