Friday, June 29, 2012

Every Day

"If you want to be a writer, write something every day." I read this advice recently, and it sounds so good. Just spend a few minutes each day on the craft, on the thing I want to do for a living. Just a little time every day.

If only.

If I took 10 minutes a day to spend on each thing that only needs 10 minutes a day... I would never sleep.

Friends, I want to write. Every day. I want to be a writer. I want to blog every day, to keep journals of the things that my kids do, to keep my own private journal, to write letters to my husband. I have heard such kind words from some of you about writing a book. Thank you. Yes, it's here, that book, in my head. Tossing and turning, wanting to come out. Every day.

Do you know what else I want to do every day? I want to have a clean house--laundry folded, dishes done, beds made, toys put away. I want to scrapbook--pictures printed, journaling written, memories captured. I want to play the piano, to practice what I preach to my students. I want to exercise, to lose the pounds that I put on in my year-of-pretending-that-I-don't-care-about-anything-because-my-child-has-Down-syndrome. I want to spend time teaching my kids, encouraging them to grow academically, spiritually, and emotionally. I want to spend time playing with my kids, showing them that I love and enjoy them and am not here just to be a Mommy Cop. I want to cook healthy, wholesome meals without processed foods or corn syrup of any fructose level. I want to spend time on my marriage, constantly wooing and being wooed by the man of my dreams, so that one day when our children leave home we won't have to get to know each other all over again. I want to read my Bible and pray, to continue growing spiritually into the woman God has created me to be. I want to pursue speaking engagements. I want to spend time investing in relationships. I want to do service for God and man. I want to clip coupons and practice photography and get more organized and read books and make crafts and... and... waste time look up valuable new ideas on Pinterest and keep up on my e-mails and listen to music. And shower. I definitely want to shower.

Every day. All of those things.

I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to give time to all of the things that are in me and around me, calling me. I don't have enough "10 minutes" in me.

A few months ago--I may have blogged about it at the time, I can't remember--a wise woman told me not to be busy, but to be intentional. To make choices about how I spend my time based on what God has laid on my heart, not based on who asks first. I love this. This is who I want to be. When my children grow up, I want them to remember me as intentional.

I'm trying. I'm trying to make choices--sometimes hard choices--that allow me to be more intentional with my time. I'm saying no to things that are good, because I know that those things aren't necessarily the best. Just because I don't have anything on my calendar doesn't mean I have to fill it with the first thing to come along.


I don't know if that really solves my "10 minute" problem. There are still so many things on that list that I want to do, I want them to be part of my intentional life. I still don't know how to fit them all in.

But I do know this: Two weeks ago, Mr. Fantastic asked me (a very tearful, emotional me), "What is one thing I can do to help you? What do you need most right now?"

And without a moment's hesitation, I answered, "I need to write. I need you to help me carve out time to write."

I need it. On so many levels, for so many reasons. I need to write.

And so I will write. Every day. I'm not promising to blog every day--I've made that promise before, and I think we can all agree that didn't go especially well. But I will write something every day. A note to my kids, a journal entry, a blog post, a poem. Something.

How do I fit in all of the things I want to do every day? I have no idea. But I know how to start: with one thing. Right now, this is my one thing.

Every day.

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