LOL/LOL: You can’t take it with you when you go…

…Well, sometimes you can. It just depends on whether you're, you know, "GOING" or just going.

Welcome to week seven of LOL/LOL, a blog series started by a fabulous mama who blogs at Zehlahlum Family. LOL/LOL stands for Lots of Littles/Lots of Laughs. It is a blog series by moms who are overrun by small children have 3 or more little kiddos, talking about parenting, marriage, & life. After you read this post, make sure you check out Jamey's take on this same topic at Zehlahlum Family. And then please play along! Discuss your take on this topic in the comments OR blog about it and post a link in the comments.

Today we're talkin' turkey about purses. I am not sure how to feel about this topic, because it means that I have to admit something to you all… My name is Katy and I am a purse-aholic. ("Hi, Katy!") It all started shortly after I had my first baby. I had never been "into" purses or shoes or makeup or any of those things… but I think I suddenly felt the need to remind myself that I was a woman too and not just a mommy. So I turned to purses (and shoes, but let's save that vice for another day). It started innocently enough, with just getting a cute free bag with my makeup purchase (not one of my vices, I'm still totally clueless there)… and then it was just a quick impulse buy with my Kohl's Cash… and then one day I met my dear friend Vera Bradley. Ahhhhh, the fun that Vera and I have together. She's not exactly a cheap date, but she is soooo worth it. I only wish I could see more of her in my closet. OK, I'm going to stop now—this is starting to sound dirty.

Here is most of my collection…

Some of those double as diaper bags… some are strictly for kid-free outings… some are knock-offs… some are apparently still out in the van. All but… mmmmm… maybe one or two of them get used. As a matter of fact, after I took this picture I gave one of them to Lamb because I have never used it and it was covered in a layer of dust. Betcha can't guess which one!

Now diaper bags. I have also gathered a collection of those over the past 5 years, but for a different reason—I seem to wear them out! When Lamb was born I had the gigundo Eddie Bauer bag that fit everything I could ever possibly need, just in case I got stranded along the side of the highway with my newborn and she needed an extra outfit or six. OK, I'll admit it—there were times that I even put extra clothes for myself in there. This bag still makes an occasional appearance, but only if all three kids are spending the day with Nana and Papa or something where I feel like Roo might need extra stuff AND the other kids (Monkey) might need something (extra underwear) too. This bag has held up extraordinarily well, considering that my hubby once RAN OVER IT when we were on a little weekend trip with friends. (Remember that, Mine???)

When Monkey came along 20 months after Lamb was born, I had just started using a much smaller bag but went back to the mammoth since that I had to carry stuff for two kiddos. At this point, I bought my first cute diaper bag. Unfortunately, that bag is no longer with us. But the idea of it is—why do I have to carry around a plain old boring diaper bag when I could carry something AND LOOK GOOD DOING IT????

So by the time Monkey was a year old I had switched to using a big purse for a diaper bag. My favorite was my Java Blue purse from Vera, which is one bag that is currently in the van. Obviously, it's still getting some use. J

Now I basically have two smallish diaper bags which I use if I am A) dropping Roo off somewhere and carrying a separate purse for myself, or B) in survival (not cuteness) mode, like, say, on a trip to Giant Eagle. I was going to post a picture of them, but apparently those are also in the van. Both of them. And yes, apparently I really need to clean out my van. Anyway, one of them is a backpack style bag, which is what I got free from the hospital when Roo was born. I actually really like it, and it's the one I use the majority of the time… unless I'm trying to get ready to go somewhere and it's… you know, in the van.

My newest and greatest addition when Roo was born was this little gem…
























The diaper pod carries wipes and a changing pad inside, and about 2 diapers on the outside. The small pouch carries a binky. It is won.der.ful. I can just stick that and a bottle in whatever bag I'm carrying, and I'm good to go! If I were a good mom who was still nursing, I wouldn't even have to worry about the bottle! It's such a handy little thing.

Let's see… just in case you're not asleep yet you are dying to know what I carry along on our outings, here's the typical breakdown:

• My diaper pod
• 1-2 bottles (Since the Similac recall over a month ago I haven't been able to find powdered Similac anywhere, so we're doing ready-to-feed…)
• A burp cloth, which I stick under my messy son's chin when he eats
• A sippy of milk for Monkey (because he goes through 2 gallons a week…!)
• My wallet
• My phone
• My planner, when I remember (That's a new addition. Even when I remember to carry it, I don't always remember to check it. That's kind of an important step in using a planner…)
• If I'm feeling reeeeaaaalllllllllllllllllly spunky, I'll toss my lipstick in there so that I can re-glam as needed.

And that's really it. I've become much more sparse in my diaper-bag-packing over the years. Sometimes, if I know I'm just running to the grocery store for one or two things, I only take my wallet. Yep, no purse. No bag. No bottles. No extra diapers. I live on the edge, what can I say?

And oh look, my purse wasn't in the van after all--it was downstairs.  So here's a quick shot of what's inside--it was a baby-free trip (Thanks, Nana & Papa!), so it contains only grown-up stuff...

I do highly recommend that book, by the way.  Yes, I sometimes carry two wallets.  One of them is my "real" wallet, and the other carries all of those perks cards, membership cards, Get $1-off-when-you-spend-$500 stamped cards, etc.  I've got a lot of them.  Oh, and the little green thing on top of my planner is a cute little picture holder that I got when I was pregnant with Roo.  I rarely carry that, but I was out with only Lamb and thought I might need to show off the cuteness of all three kids while I was out.  I was wrong.

Since I've started this post, I've been trying to think, "What's the ONE THING that I don't like to leave the house without?"  I don't really have a good answer for that.  I don't have a go-to coffee mug (because I don't drink coffee) or a special toy for my kids or anything like that.  I guess it would be my cell phone, especially now that Lamb is in school and my cell phone is the number that they have (which came in handy yesterday when I took her to school for the first time since last Wednesday and the school nurse called me before I even made it home...!).

So… hmmmmmm… I guess that's it. Now it's your turn to spill it. How many purses do you have? How many do you actually carry? What's in them? And what is YOUR one thing that you don't leave without?  Post your thoughts in the comments, or if you post about it on your blog, make sure you put a link in the comments so that we can find you. And don't forget to read Jamey's thoughts on this topic too! J

Trick-or-Treat!

The Weekend Zoo: 10 things you should know about our Saturday

Welcome to a new addition, "The Weekend Zoo."  On select weekends (as in, whenever I can), I will give you a (hopefully) humorous look into our everyday life... or, I guess, our weekend life.

So here are 10 things you should know about our day so far:
1 - I tried some new "mix-ins" in our pancakes this morning--white chocolate chips & craisins.  They were a hit.
2 - We do NOT have dessert after pancakes (or any breakfast, actually--just lunch and dinner--but especially not after pancakes.)
3 - This was NOT well-received today, even though it is the rule EVERY day.
4 - Monkey just came downstairs wearing nothing but Buzz Lightyear underwear.
5 - The underwear were backwards.
6 - I wanted to take a picture, but my camera batteries (both of them!) were dead.  And besides, there are weirdos out there, so I'm not sure I want a picture of my backwards-underwear-clad 3-year-old on the net.
7 - Roo's favorite new hobby is chewing on his toes.
8 - And making high-pitched squeals.
9 - Lamb has had a fever for 3 days now, but it seems to be declining.  (It's been 101 - 102 since Wednesday afternoon, but this morning was only 99.3.)  We're spending one more day at home, and hopefully we'll be able to go trick-or-treating tomorrow.
10 - We've got fun crafts planned for today, and if they turn out well--and I remember to charge the battery for my camera--I'll make sure to post some pictures.  They'll probably just be edited in to this post, so check back later...!

OK, time for kitchen clean-up and craft prep!  Have a great weekend!

Some for 21: Confessions

October is almost over and I haven't done a ton of the "Some for 21" posts that I started earlier this month, but today I want to combine a few thoughts into one post. I was inspired by a post I recently read at another great blog, and I want to tell you some of the things that I have thought over the past four months or am dealing with now. They're not all easy to put into writing, but I hope that they will be helpful if you or someone you know is going through the adjustment of a Down's diagnosis.

Confession #1: Sometimes I don't want to talk about Roo's diagnosis because I can't help you process it yet. One of the hardest parts of talking to others about our struggles is dealing with their emotions, especially when you're first breaking the news to friends or family. I would often feel like I was taking on the role of counselor to help others through my hard time, and it was more than I could take. So I would sometimes avoid phone calls, get-togethers, etc, so that I didn't have to have those one-on-one "sessions." It's easier now, but I still try to make a quick exit from conversations where I feel like I have turned into the therapist for someone who is trying to figure out how to help their friend (ME!) deal with her son's diagnosis.

Confession #2: I'm getting a little bit fed up with the platitudes. I tend to be a pretty laidback person in many respects. Since Roo's diagnosis, I have met several moms of Down's kids who are more easily offended by words than I am—in fact, some of them are probably upset that I just used the term "Down's kids." But those things don't tend to bother me. Many of them get very upset over society's casual use of the "r" word (ie, "That's so r*****ed! I can't believe you did that!") and I totally get it—I really do. Please don't hear me say that it's no big deal, because I completely understand that words can be so hurtful and that this one in particular can be downright painful to hear. But I can't say that it really gets under my skin that much. But the things that people say to try to make it all better… those are starting to wear a little thin. Again, I understand the need people feel to say something, to try to make us feel better, to try to make themselves feel better, and I kept trying to let it go—like water off a duck's back, right? But you can only let so much roll off your back before you get soaked. I'm soaked. I'm alllllllll filled up and weighed down with platitudes, and I can't take many more. If one. more. person. feels the need to tell me that Roo is such a sweet baby AND THEN FOLLOW IT UP WITH "those kids are always so happy", I'm going to punch them. At least then they'll know that the mamas aren't always so happy.

Confession #3: I am tired. I am incredibly thankful for the therapies that are available to Roo, and our therapists are great. It has truly been a very interesting learning experience to find out the growth/developmental benefits of so many of the things that we naturally do with babies. (Bouncing them on your knee, for example, strengthens their core muscles and is actually good for their nervous system. Who knew???) But I'm tired of them. I'm tired of having to put so much thought and effort into things that come naturally for many babies. I'm tired of wondering when he's going to be able to sit up. I'm tired of feeling guilty every time I set him on the floor because he can only lay there. And I feel incredibly guilty because I know that it's not about me, it's about what is best for my child. And don't get me wrong—I do it all anyway—but I'm just… over it. But you know what? Every single time I start to think I don't want to do it anymore, I look at that sweet sweet sweet little face, and my heart completely melts and I am happy to do anything for him.

Confession #4: I am nervous about the future. Sometimes I think that my "acceptance" of Roo's Down syndrome is really just masked denial—that I just don't think about it a lot of the time because he really doesn't look much different from any other baby, especially when you take into account that he's so small. But that's not always going to be the case. Someday he's going to look different, talk different, act different. What if I have a hard time accepting that? And what will I do when others have a hard time accepting that?—because I know that day is coming, the day when he is rejected or looked down on or picked on because of his Down's. To be honest, though, every time I start to get nervous about my future with Roo, I realize that I am equally nervous about the future with the other kids, too. The specifics might be different—What will Lamb be like as a teenager? Will Monkey disown me by the time he gets to high school? Will the kids move far away? Will we have a good relationship with them? Am I completely screwing them up?—but the nerves are the same. Each child, each relationship, is unique, special needs or not.

Confession #5: Sometimes I'm still sad. But when I grieve, I am grieving for Roo and the hardships that he will face, not because of Roo. And when I struggle inside myself, it is that Mommy Guilt that most moms know all too well, the guilt of wondering if I am making the right choices for Roo—not guilt over struggling to love my child. I am completely, totally, wholeheartedly in love with this sweet baby boy. How could I not be?

Confession #6: I'm realizing that life goes on. The last few months have been hard, but hard things happen. Roo has Down syndrome—that's our hard thing right now. Other friends of mine are dealing with divorce, with cancer, with loss of jobs, with hard adoptions. Life is hard. But you keep moving forward. Life—even our life right here in this house, even Roo's life—does not revolve around Down syndrome. And that's good, because that would be a very small and sad existence indeed. But life is about more than a diagnosis. It is trips to the park and hearing about Lamb's days at school and visiting Nana & Papa and family movie nights and getting to know each other and growing and laughing and crying and so many other things. And it's about taking all of the good and bad and all that we're learning and using it to serve God and others. And we're getting there, we really are.

Confession #7: I'm not being very productive right now. My kids are all asleep in bed (Lamb is home from school with a fever.), the van is full of stuff from Wal-Mart, the dishes need to be done, my to-do basket on my desk is full… and I'm blogging. It looks like it's time for me to get to work.

LOL/LOL: What’s cookin’?

LOL/LOL stands for Lots of Littles/Lots of Laughs. It is a blog series by moms who are overrun by small children have 3 or more little kiddos, talking about parenting, marriage, & life. After you read this post, make sure you check out Jamey's take on this same topic at Zehlahlum Family. And then please play along! Answer our questions in the comments OR blog about it and post a link in the comments.

Today Jamey and I are talking about meals. I'm actually really happy about this topic, because this is an area I truly enjoy. I love to cook, and I love that the kids love to help me cook. We have lots of fun in the kitchen together.

OK, so here are the basics. I try to plan about a week of meals at a time (lunches and dinners). I make a grocery list based on my plan and shop from that. I rarely buy stuff not on the list, because I have no discernable will power and may be likely to do something stupid like eat an entire bag of potato chips with a container of dip all in one day. Not that I've done anything like that today ever, I'm just giving an example of what could happen. Of course. Ummmm… let's move on.

I try to make sure we eat reasonably healthy foods. We have both a fruit and a vegetable with almost every meal. We eat a lot of chicken… very little seafood, because I'm the cook and I don't like it… and no tofu because Mr. Fantastic hates it. I am not a short-order cook, which means that my kids are stuck with whatever I make for dinner that night. In fairness, if I am making something new or something that I know someone doesn't like, I make sure there is plenty of food available that they do like so that they can fill up on other stuff. For example, if Lamb doesn't like my latest chicken creation, she can have extra veggies, noodles, fruit, etc. They do, however, have to try at least one bite of everything. And it makes me bonkers when they claim that they don't like something that they've never tried.

Dessert is a must at our house—but before you judge, note that "dessert" is almost always a small piece of candy… like one Starburst or 5-6 Skittles. It's just a little something to 1) satisfy the sweet tooth and 2) signify that mealtime is over so that I don't hear "I'm hungry" five minutes after dinner is over. The kids know that they can have as many servings of dinner as they like… before they have dessert. Once they eat dessert, they are done.

What else do you want to know? I used to be a very "by the book" cook, and I still follow recipes the majority of the time, but I have become increasingly bold in making stuff up as I go. My biggest success was a dish I adapted from a few different recipes that I call Basil-Cream Chicken, and I used fresh basil from my herb garden. It was fan.tab.u.lous, if I do say so myself. Oh, and I am a cookbook-a-holic. I collect cookbooks the way that some people collect Precious Moments. I absolutely love all of the different ideas and cuisines and combinations.

We have a few fun traditions that I enjoy… On Saturday mornings I cook a "nice" breakfast, typically pancakes or waffles. It's a good break from the cereal/toast/oatmeal options of the other 6 days of the week, and the kids help me make it, which adds to the fun. Also, even though I typically make them eat whatever I serve, we will occasionally play "restaurant" and I let them order from a "menu" of approved choices. They think this is huge fun, especially when I call them "Sir" and "Miss."

And even though I do enjoy cooking, I am at a stage in my life when it is difficult to prepare a hot meal for my family every night. So earlier this year I had a chance to become part of a supper-swapping group, and I jumped at it. It is wonderful! I have mentioned it before, but let me explain the basic idea. Once a week I cook up dinner for three families, then deliver a meal to two other girls before going back home to eat with my family. It sounds like a lot of work, but for many meals, multiplying by 3 really isn't that much more work than making a single batch. And then here's the best part: Two other nights per week, someone shows up at my door with a complete hot meal for my family! No cooking, no kitchen clean-up, nothing! It just appears, ready to eat! It has been a lifesaver. Again, I know I mentioned this before, but Trish Berg is truly the supper-swapping expert and I highly recommend her book The Great American Supper Swap.

Before I go, let me share one of my favorite super-easy recipes with you. It's not word-for-word from the cookbook, but you'll get the idea. This is actually what I'm making for my Supper-Swap group tonight…

Crock-Pot Beef Sandwiches
(from The Freezer Cooking Manual from 30 Day Gourmet: A Month of Meals Made Easy)

2 ½ pounds beef chuck roast
2 packages dry dressing (like Good Seasons Italian or Hidden Valley Ranch)
1 cup water
1 package buns

Trim fat from roast, place in crockpot. Top with dressing packets, pour water over all. Cook on low for at least 6 hours or overnight. Shred beef and serve on buns. Serves… oh, 6ish people, I would say.

The meat can also be frozen after it is shredded, which is a great option if you have a big crockpot and can make one batch for now and one to freeze for a quick meal. My hubby absolutely LOVES sandwiches these with horseradish sauce.So let's hear it, people! What are your mealtime traditions, rules, likes & dislikes, successes & failures? What's your favorite dish? Please share! J

To Allow(ance) or not to Allow(ance)? That is the Question

Recently I gave my children their first paid gig: picking up leaves and acorns. We have a nice play area in our backyard with rubber mulch, and it was getting taken over by the invaders of autumn. I gave Lamb and Monkey each a bucket, and I told them I would pay a penny per leaf and a nickel per acorn. Monkey quickly filled his up and came running back. I showed him how to push the leaves down to make more room in his bucket, and he went happily off to earn more money.

When all was said and done, I paid Monkey $1.35. I paid Lamb… are you ready for this?... $9.55! She was quite the hard worker that afternoon! Note to self: Make everything worth a penny next time…

Fast-forward a few days to Monday, when Lamb was home sick from school. As she sat on the floor and worked on a little craft, the following conversation took place:

Monkey (to Lamb): "Why are you cutting the couch?"
Lamb: "I'm not!"
Monkey: "Yes, you are!"
Lamb: "Noooooooooo!!!!! I'm NNNNNOOOOOTTTTTTT!!!!!"

Somewhere in my brain I heard this whole conversation, but the conscious part of my brain just heard "Fighting kids. Must stop." So I stopped them and talked to them. Then I played back in my head what had transpired, and I wondered if I should go over and check the couch. "Nah," I thought, "she's FIVE, not two. She knows better."

And then about two hours later, my mom was over and said, "Oh no! What happened to your couch?"

Uh-oh.

Sure enough, there was a 2-inch gash along the couch cushion, made by a nice pair of kid scissors. So Lamb and I had a talk. Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I was actually quite pleased with how calm and compassionate yet firm I was, almost like an actual good mom. But during the course of the conversation, I asked Lamb how she thought we should pay for the repairs, and eventually "we" decided that she should give me all of the money in her piggy bank. (And yes, she has an actual piggy bank.) That included all of her leaf and acorn money, plus a few dollars in coins that she had accumulated over time. She was devastated. (By the way, what on earth made her decide to slice open the couch, I still don't know.)

But as we discussed this consequence, she said two things that really stood out to me. "Now how will I save up for anything?!" and "But no one ever wants to give me their money!" I was impressed that she had given thought to saving up for things, and struck by the fact that she relied on us giving her the occasional quarter in order to do so.

So that got me thinking… What other jobs would she be willing to do for a penny or nickel at a time? No wait, that wasn't it. It was… Maybe it's time to start an allowance.

And then I started researching allowances, and let me tell you—expert opinions vary widely on the topic. Here are just a few of the results I found in my search:

• From crown.org – "Don't link allowance to routine household chores. Children have chores because they're members of the family; they get an allowance to learn how to handle money. Linking the two may result in children who won't do anything without pay or children who decide the money isn't worth the work."
  
• From daveramsey.com – "Start paying them a commission for chores they do around the house… Do not give them an allowance."
  
• From ehow.com – "Provide your child with a weekly or bi-weekly allowance, depending on how often you get paid. Letting your child know that his "payday" corresponds with yours can help drive home the idea that money has to be managed and made to last until the next payday."
  
• From kidsmoney.org – "Their first allowance should be given at a minimum of once a week."
  

And that's just the beginning! A wide range of opinions can also be found on what age a child should be, how much they should be given, how involved the parents should be in how the money is spent, and on and on and on.

I just wanted a simple way to help my daughter save up for something!

So now Mr. Fantastic (That's how I'm referring to my hubby from now on—I may even go back and do it retroactively. He's not a big blogging fan, so maybe this will help me to earn some brownie points. Plus, he IS pretty darn fantastic.) and I are trying to decide how to handle this whole thing. Do we give her an allowance or a "commission"? Maybe we should give her some basic responsibilities and then she earns money for chores she does on top of that…? But if we do that, will she start to expect payment every time we ask her to do something? If we give her an allowance (and not a commission), will she think that money just grows on trees? How much is appropriate? How do we help her learn how to spend it? Should we start something with Monkey too? How much of her allowance should be set aside for the therapy bills that she will inevitably need after being raised in this house?

And that's where we are, in the midst of the great payment debate. So what do you do? Do your kids get an allowance or a commission or neither? Or both? What are the parameters? Do you have a set of written rules—amounts, times, conditions, etc? Let's hear it—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Commence! J

LOL/LOL: Schedules

LOL/LOL stands for Lots of Littles/Lots of Laughs. It is a blog series by moms who are overrun by small children have 3 or more little kiddos, talking about parenting, marriage, & life. After you read this post, make sure you check out Jamey's take on this same topic at Zehlahlum Family. And then please play along! Answer our questions in the comments OR blog about it and post a link in the comments.
Today we're talking schedules. Did/do you schedule your kids' days? What does your daily schedule look like? Do you do cleaning, groceries, etc, on the same days each week?

Why do I feel like every question is so complicated for me? Or maybe I just make them complicated. OK, let me start with the easy part. Yes, I have some "scheduled days" for certain tasks. For example, Mondays are sacred to me. I do everything I can to not leave the house on Mondays. Mondays are Laundry Day and Pajama Day, two things that mesh well together. Unfortunately, Mondays have also become Therapy Day for Roo, which does NOT mesh well with Pajama Day… but the Early Intervention Specialist and our therapists are getting used to seeing me in my sweats and I think they enjoy the fact that I don't feel the need to get all dolled up for them. At least, that's what I tell myself.

As for other scheduled days… Tuesday is my supper swap day, so I spend most of the afternoon cooking. And lately, Tuesday has also become grocery shopping day… so that I have food to cook that afternoon. Wednesdays are Bible study days, when I am gone almost the entire day, 8:00 AM – 9:00 PM. I try to be home for about 2 hours in the afternoon to let Monkey grab a nap, but that's about it. And Sundays are set aside for church & family. That's about it. I used to have a specific task for each day, but most of those went out the window when the baby Kangaroo joined the zoo.

On a daily basis… well, this is where I don't have an easy answer. For my older kids, I do keep a pretty regular sleep schedule/routine. 1:30 is naptime, and it ends anywhere from 2:30 to 4:00, depending on whether or not Monkey falls asleep. (Lamb doesn't really nap anymore, but she does lay down for about 45 minutes or an hour on days that she doesn't have school.) Bedtime is between 7:00 and 8:00, again depending on what happened at naptime. For Roo… oh my word, I have been wrestling with getting that kiddo on some type of nap routine. But it's not going well, and I don't really want to talk about it right now, so let's just leave it at that. K?

But for our daily non-sleep-related-routine… I can't really say that we have one right now, other than getting Lamb to & from school every day. I would like to tell you that I do housework from X to Y and spend 1 hour a day doing preschool with Monkey and I have a regular quiet time with the Lord and never miss my workout slot… but no, that's just not reality right now. But remember when I told you that I was drowning? Well, thanks to some great help and prayer support from our amazing family and friends, I have been quickly catching up on the projects that have been piling up since Roo was born. This has been helpful on a number of levels, both practical and emotional, but that's another topic for another post. Anyway, my hope is that I will be able to get the house to a good "base level" and feel like I've got my footing a bit, and then get into more of a routine with all of the stuff I just listed. So maybe we should revisit this topic in another six months, so that hopefully I can be proud of how far I've come…!

OK, friends, I'm signing off for now. Coming soon to the Zoo… Allowance: Yea or Nay? And other Lamb-related talk.

Enjoy your day! And don't forget to tell me how you handle (or don't handle!) schedules in your house! J