New Year in a Word

2014. Yikes. I remember when my high school graduation--1997--seemed eons away. And now... well, now it seems eons away also, but in the opposite direction.

I've never been huge on New Year's resolutions, but last year I decided that January 1 seemed like as good a time as any to make some changes. Instead of making a list of goals, though, I chose a word to focus on for the year. My word for 2013: Intentional. I picked 4 areas in my life that needed some attention, and decided to spend the year intentionally focusing on those themes. Did it work? Yes--when I actually stayed focused on them. Some areas saw more improvement than others. But overall, it was a success. The one-word focus simplified my thoughts and goals and even day-to-day decisions.

I hadn't really planned to do it again, but over the past few weeks, one word has been gnawing at me. I've been thinking about it, dreaming about it, talking about it... and I think I have found my focus for 2014.

Growth.

This year, I will be planning and acting and choosing with the word growth in mind. Specifically, I want to grow as a wife, as a mother, in ministry, and in my own personal spiritual life. I will make some more concrete goals in some of those areas to help me keep on track (I learned from last year that this is the key to my success!), but just having that word in mind, that singular focus, will help me to filter decisions and opportunities that come up.

So take a look at your goals for this year, whether formal or informal. Is there a theme? Could you sum up your aspirations with one overall topic? What word could you use this year?

Happy 2014!

Cookin' it up at Christmastime

It's Christmas Eve! And after a brief warm spell, I woke up to find SNOW on the ground this morning! All is right with the world.

I love Christmas cooking. I love cooking in general, but cooking at Christmas is especially lovely. I know it's late, but I thought I would share the recipes I'll be making over the next couple of days.

First, dinner tonight. We have to leave for church before dinnertime, and we won't be home until bedtime... so I decided to make a big pot of soup that the kids can have before we go, and then we can keep it on warm during church so that maybe they can grab another bowl while we read before bed tonight.

I'm making this for Christmas Eve, but if you're going to have ham in the next couple of days, this is a fabulous thing to make with the leftovers. And my kids LOVE it! In fact, Lamb just hugged me and thanked me because she could smell it cooking! Oh, and it is SUPER easy, which is always helpful at a busy time of year.

Ham & Bean Soup, Zookeeper Style

1 small onion, chopped
2 carrots, diced
1-2 stalks of celery, diced
2 tablespoons butter
3 cans (15 1/2 oz each) Great Northern Beans
2 cups cooked ham, diced
1 can chicken broth
1 bay leaf
salt and white pepper to taste

Cut up veggies. Melt butter in large saucepan, add veggies and sauté until tender-crisp. Rinse beans. Mash 1 can, keep the rest whole. Add beans, ham, and broth to pan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to simmer; add bay leaf, salt, and pepper. Simmer until heated through (or until ready to eat).

See? Simple. And so, so, so good. Tonight I am serving it with French bread, but I often make corn bread to go with it. Mmmmmmmmm... I'm hungry.


Next up: Christmas morning. For this, I am making two recipes I found online. They are both recipes I have made before, and they are BIG HITS! The eggs nests were a little intimidating to me at first--it seemed like an odd mix of ingredients--but trust me, the flavors come together AMAZINGLY.

In an effort to save a little time (because there are about a thousand other things I'm supposed to be doing right now), I'm just going to post the links here. PLEASE take the time to check them out. They are delish.

Brunch Egg Nests
Breakfast Casserole



And for Christmas night, our newest "tradition." (We've made this the last two years, and Lamb insisted that we make it again... ON Christmas night... AT my mother-in-law's house. She is adamant that this is tradition and we can't change it!) We will be at my mother-in-law's, and she will handle dinner, but this is a fun little dessert. The green gel and the smashed candy canes (I use strawberry) make it sophisticated-looking, which the kids (and grown-ups) love.

North Pole Strawberry Smoothies

So those are my big dishes for the next few days. What's on your menu???

Last-minute gift ideas for special kiddos

Christmas is in a week! A WEEK! And this post is long overdue. I'm sorry. But better late than never, right? I, for one, still have some Christmas shopping to finish up, so I'm hoping I'm not the only one.

Buying gifts for kids can be surprisingly tough. You'd think with the millions of options out there, it would be easy to pick up anything and everything--and in some ways, that's true. But finding something meaningful, fun, and useful--something that will really be enjoyed and not just be more stuff--can be a challenge.

And then you get to the bonus round: buying for a child with special needs. What on earth am I going to do now? you ask me. As if it's not hard enough to buy for a typical kid, who wants typical things just like their typical peers; now I need to find a gift for a kid who doesn't necessarily act like his peers, who may not be able to play like his peers, and who might not even be able to communicate like his peers! What on earth do I get that kid?!

First of all, take a deep breath and relax. Quit freaking out on me already. We'll get through this together.

Disclaimer... Keep in mind that Roo is 3 years old. I am going to give you my thoughts on this topic, but it may vary if you are talking about an older child or adult with special needs. I can only speak from three years of experience, after all. :-) Also, some of these suggestions are tailored specifically to kids with Down syndrome. Again, I'm writing from my own experience here.

I'd like to offer you some general buying tips, and then I'll give you a few suggestions from our favorites. Are you ready? You might want to write this down... oh wait, I'm doing that for you. Well, then, have your printer ready or something. Here we go...

Tips & Tricks

• Ask mom or dad. This is a perfect example of how much kids with special needs are like their typical peers. I have 5 nephews and a niece (none with special needs), and I never know what to get them for birthdays or Christmas! Every year I ask their parents (or them, as they get older) for gift ideas. Sometimes we may feel awkward when a child with special needs is involved--maybe you think asking a parent for gift ideas will point out how different their child is. But no, it just shows that you care and want to get something the child will like. Ask away!
• Stick with the chronological age on toys. If you haven't gotten suggestions from Mom or Dad and you're standing in the toy section at Target, buy a toy that coincides with the child's chronological age. Even if the child isn't ready for the toy yet, chances are they will be one day. Buying a toy for a younger age range--again, unless the parents have suggested it--can be risky, because you may unintentionally insult the parents with a message of "I think your kid is just a big baby." Better to help them plan ahead than to assume that they are behind.
• Bring on the bling! Colors, lights, songs, sounds--the more, the better! Sensory stimulation is great for all kids, but especially for kids who have developmental delays. For example, because babies/toddlers with Down syndrome are less mobile than their typically-developing peers, they are likely to play with a smaller amount of toys for a longer time--they can't run from toy to toy to toy like their friends. So a toy that is more stimulating gives them a bigger "bang for their buck" while they're playing.
• Check for the catalog. Toys R Us has a great catalog specifically designed for differently-abled kids. They do a great job of giving ideas AND of explaining the educational and/or developmental benefits of each item.

Great Gifts for Special Kids (and aren't they all special?) ;-)

Here are a few of our favorite things we have:

The Fisher-Price Laugh & Learn Musical Table
We have an older model (Ours originally belonged to Monkey), but Roo loves it! Before he could stand, we gave it to him without the legs (and then added them later, obviously). This table offers great options for songs and sounds, and it has held up great for almost 6 years!

 

 

Fisher-Price Apptivity Case

A case is available for the iPhone/iPod and for the iPad. We only have the iPhone one, and it is heaven sent! Roo loves to play with apps on my phone... and he also loves to throw. This case lets me give him my phone without raising my blood pressure the entire time he has it.

 

 

 



 

iTunes Gift Cards

While admittedly not as fun as giving toys, gift cards for apps (and songs!) can be a fantastic gift for kids with special needs. Kids love to get on the iPhone and iPad (see the gift above), and there are some great educational apps out there--but not all of them are free. In fact, some can get really pricey!

 

 

 

Little Tikes Count 'n Play Cash Register

Roo got this for Christmas last year, and it is great! It is colorful but simple. There are a variety of ways to put the coins in, which provides good fine motor skills practice. There is sorting and matching. And when you're done, all of the pieces can be stored in the cash drawer! Love it!

 

 

 

Chunky Puzzles

Kids with Down syndrome tend to have delayed motor skills, so activities like puzzles provide a fun way to hone those skills. We especially love the Melissa & Doug line, like this one...

 

 

 

Balls, balls, balls!

Roo loves to throw, so balls are one of our favorite things for him. But balls are a versatile toy--they can be played with by one person or a whole group; they can be thrown, rolled, bounced, sat on, tossed in a basket, hit with a bat or club; they can be big or small; they are an all-around blue ribbon winner! Two years ago, my brother and sister-in-law got Roo a set of these sensory balls, and I love them (and so does Roo)!

 

 

 

 

Shape Sorter

Another basic and classic toy, it's also another favorite in our house. Sorting, matching by shape, matching by color, and more! Kids who don't have the fine motor skills to put the shapes in the correct hole can take the lid off and just practice dropping them in the bucket. And dumping them out is always tons of fun!

 

 

 

 

Simple Remote Control Cars

Roo absolutely loves playing with Monkey's myriad of remote control cars, but he can really only handle one or two buttons. These remote control cars are great for little ones.

 

 

 

 

Other ideas

Here are some more great ideas. Some are basics, others are things on Roo's wish list that I can't personally review (yet), but all would be great ideas...

• Books
• Color-sorting toys (like this one from Lakeshore Learning)
• Prewriting skills toys (this one and this one are on Roo's wish list)
• A small trampoline with a handle
• Play-doh or theraputty
• Sing-along CD player
• Kid-friendly tablets (Roo is getting the LeapPad Explorer for Christmas, so stay tuned!)
• Foam or wooden blocks

 

This list is by no means exhaustive, but I hope it's been helpful. What are your shopping tips or gift ideas? I'd love to hear them!

When your words come back to haunt you

If you are at all familiar with my blog or have heard me speak, you know that I feel strongly about letting go of expectations. Sometimes we have to let go of the "should be"s of life and accept what is. It feels scary, but it is so freeing when you finally get there.

Sometimes that's easier said than done. And I'm not even talking about the big, scary circumstances of life... like, say, finding out that your 3-month-old has a chromosomal abnormality that is going to completely rock your world. No, I'm talking about the day-to-day things, like... well, let's just say for example, you want to put up Christmas decorations and do some cleaning, and you have a very sick and clingy 3-year-old and you can't get anything accomplished.

Not that that has ever happened to me. Or is happening to me today. It's just an example I have pulled out of thin air, obviously.

OK, you got me. It's a true story. You know, that's happening to a friend. Let me tell you her story.

This friend of mine has a little guy who may or may not have thrown up in the van on the way to my her speaking engagement yesterday. And he has had terrible diarrhea ever since. Today it's to the point where the poor guy won't even sit down--he just squats all of the time. He's pretty happy, other than the 20 or so times a day that he's getting his diaper changed. And he won't eat a blessed thing. Poor sweet boy.

In the meantime, the house is full of bins of Christmas decorations. And the kids' rooms are overflowing with toys that need to be sorted through and pared down to prepare for the onslaught that is called Christmas. And her new office is full of bags of things that need to be donated and files to sort through and various junk that has just found its way in there. And her garage is still full of stuff from when the basement flooded this summer. And she didn't plan to change diapers every 15 minutes and search for the best cures for diaper rash and coax her sweet child to eat just one.single.bite of applesauce or yogurt or just about anything.

And she got a little overwhelmed.

Then she remembered the talk that she gave the day before, the one where she says that each of us is created for a unique purpose. The one where she says that we have to let go of our own agenda and recognize that what seems like "Plan B" to us is often "Plan A" for God. He's got this. Life may take a different turn than you expected, but God had it in the plans all along, and He will use it for good. Embrace it, don't fight it.

Then she realized that this may not be limited to big-life scenarios. Maybe she needs to let go a little. Maybe the source of her stress isn't really the things on her to-do list, but her unwillingness to change her timeframe. Maybe God's plan for today doesn't involve snowglobes and wreaths and cleaning. And maybe, just maybe, if she embraces her day rather than fighting it, she'll be pleasantly surprised at where it takes her.

Maybe she should take her own advice more often.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a sick little boy to snuggle.

Lists, day 1: 7 Things I Learned in Chicago

I don't know how it happened, but I suddenly find myself with a variety of lists on my mind--the "Top 5" this, the "Best 7" that. So this week is going to be a Week of Lists. Every day this week I'm going to post a list of something.

Let's start with my weekend. I was in Chicago!!! I had the opportunity to speak to the MOPS group in Aurora, IL, and had a blast doing it. And since they meet on Friday mornings, Mr. Fantastic and I decided to just make a weekend out of it. It was an amazing time of just being a couple--I am so thankful for the opportunity.

I think we all know that I am not great about carving time out to blog as often as I'd like, and if I gave you a play-by-play of our trip I would never get it done. Instead, I give you (in no particular order)...

(I left out one very important thing on my original list! I had to come back and add it in.)

 

7 8 Things I Learned from my Trip to Chicago

1. I really do love sharing and connecting with women through speaking. Yes, I already knew that. But every time I get the opportunity... oh! It just makes my heart sing. I am so glad to have had the opportunity to be with those women. (Thank you, Penny, for setting it up!)
2. My hubby and I love to spend time together. Whether we were eating dinner on the 95th floor of the Hancock Building or just riding together in the car, we relished our time together. Laughs were shared, dreams were discussed, plans were made.
3. If you're going to take 5 pairs of shoes on a 3-day trip, probably at least one of them should be tennis shoes. Or at least comfortable walking shoes. Just sayin'. My poor tootsies.
4. Parents should have some kind of re-entry program after being away from their children, like the astronauts do. Just a gradual reacclimation (and according to dictionary.com I just made that word up) to real life. Because when you have 72 hours of talking at a normal pace and volume paired with periods of silence, and then you go straight back into full exposure to 3 excited children... it is a stressful situation.
5. Apparently our dog has issues with change. Not only did she pee and poop (in her crate!!!) while my mother-in-law kept her over the weekend, she came downstairs and peed on the floor right in front of me and Mr. Fantastic! And can I just add that I am already NOT a dog person? This animal is not helping her case.
6. Chicago has some amazing architecture. We were blessed with unusually nice weather while we were there, and were able to take a beautiful river boat cruise that discussed the architecture of the buildings along the river. It was the highlight of our stay.
7. Sometimes you get away to sitesee, and sometimes you get away to relax. This was definitely the latter. We enjoyed a stroll down Michigan Avenue, dinner at the Hancock Building, a horse-drawn carriage ride (Yep, my hubby is the BEST!), a river cruise, and a walk to Navy Pier... but we also took a 3-hour nap on Friday afternoon, and on Saturday we went to see a matinee ("Captain Philips", which I highly recommend), and then went back to our room when it was done... at 6:45! Yep, we ordered room service, watched a movie, Mr. Fantastic watched football, I played Candy Crush, and I think I was asleep by 9:30. It.was.HEAVEN.
8. We are extremely blessed to have grandparents who live close by and who are willing & able to keep the kiddos for a weekend. We missed them terribly, but were very thankful to know that they were loved and cared for--and we were pretty darn thankful to have some time to ourselves, too.

That's our trip in a nutshell. Thanks for your prayers before and during my speaking engagement. They just get to be more and more fun every time. I can't wait for my "Joy" talk in December and back to "Created to be" in January! :-)

Crying in Target

Yesterday was our first real snow of the season. It arrived to mixed reviews according to my Facebook, but in my house it has been a welcome addition. Well, it did lead to some traffic woes yesterday (Come on, folks, we live in Ohio. We get snow EVERY YEAR.), but overall I am loving the feel of a winter wonderland. The ground is white, the trees are sparkling, Starbucks has red cups... It doesn't get much better.

And thanks to my friend Snow, I became stupid brave determined enough to head out for some shopping with Roo this morning. We actually had a few errands that we needed to run, but we ended up in Target, and I decided to peruse the Christmas decorations while I was there. And then I remembered that it will soon be time for our Elf to come (We don't do the "real" Elf on the Shelf, but we have a little gingerbread man that I use as our elf, and we have a beautiful advent calendar where he leaves a little treat--or a clue about where to find a treat--each day.), and it seemed like a good time to start gathering trinkets for him to pass along to our children. So I headed to the stocking stuffers.

And that is when it hit me.

I looked at rows of Hello, Kitty and Dora the Explorer and even Disney princess toys... and realized that my little girl isn't so little any more. We may have kept her away from many of the "teenagery" things I see little girls getting into these days, and she has developed a sudden and unexpected love of Sofia the first... but she is growing up. Princess wands and tiaras aren't her thing any more. A Dora headband is more likely to elicit an eye roll than a smile. For goodness sake, the girl doesn't even believe in Santa any more--she's going to know the elf isn't real!

And then I cried in Target. Just a little. Just a tear or two. I love my girl. I love her age, the conversations we can have, the concepts she grasps that she couldn't just a few years ago. I love the poems that she writes, I love that she finds and corrects grammar mistakes on magazines and worksheets that she receives. But I wish I would have cherished the princess phase a little more. I wish I could hold onto the magic of toddlerhood and the preschool years. Life with an 8-year-old is tons of fun, and in some ways I am much better with this age than the little ones... but already it is going much too fast.

My kids are growing up. Somebody hit the brakes, would you? This is flying by.

Then I looked down and saw that Roo's nose was runny and tried to wipe it off. "Magic of toddlerhood" my foot. 3-year-olds can be a real pain--and they can scream bloody murder at the site of a simple tissue. Who would miss this??? Not me. Nope, definitely not. Excuse me while I wipe my eyes... allergies, you know...

Maybe I should just avoid Target for a while.

Like that's going to happen.

And we wonder why moms are a little bit crazy...

Thursday afternoons are hectic.  Partly because I am just.so.over the week at that point--swimming lessons after school on Tuesday, church Wednesday evening, and an after-school science program on Thursday. Our afternoons and evenings are NON-STOP, from the minute they get off the bus until the magical time when they are finally in bed for the night. For two days I have been pushing them, "Guys, we have to get going. PLEASE get that done. What else do you still need to finish?" As if a typical day wasn't cramped enough, on these days we have chunks of time stolen from us. And suddenly it's Thursday and I'm tired of it, and I know that I have to do it again.

And when I do go pick up the big kids from their after-school program, I have Roo with me. And he is excited to find his big brother and sister. Who are in two separate rooms. On the exact opposite end of the school from the parking lot. And I don't know if you have guessed this, but Roo can be a lot to handle.

As an added bonus, on this particular Thursday, it was raining. Strike that, it was POURING DOWN RAIN. So I didn't bother to pull the stroller out of the van and set it up, I just grabbed Roo and ran for the building.

I have to admit that it was comical to let him run through the building, partly because it is just plain hilarious to see the way he runs, with his arms flying and his feet still a little unsure. And also because he would stop at every open door and BELLOW his siblings' names, in language that only our family could understand. I did, however, get weary of having to run and grab him every time he turned down a wrong hall (on accident or on purpose!) or ran into a room where some poor teacher was trying to finish up for the day.

And then... the program ran over the regular time slot. So we finally got back to the appropriate place in the school... and we had to wait. And Roo doesn't wait well. (The previous week, by the way, I had arrived at the correct dismissal time, and my kids were the only ones left. And I had to answer questions like, "Why did you come so late, Mommy? Why weren't you here when we got done? Did you forget?")

It feels a little like an understatement to say that I was frazzled by the time that they got dismissed. I think you have probably done that math in your head already.

But what you don't know is that my kids LOVE the after-school science program. And that they come out with the energy one would expect of a person who has chased a Monster drink with a 5-Hour Energy.

They were a little amped up.

"Mommy, guesss what!"

"Mommy, I can't wait to tell you!"

"Mommy, look what we made today!"
"Mommy, my project is hanging in the hall!"

"Mommy, Blake said he'll come over sometime!" (I have never heard of this Blake person. When did we decide to invite him to our house?)

"Mommy!"

"Mommy!"

"MOMMY!"

And as a grabbed Roo's hand for the 10th time in 5 steps, I finally said in as nice a voice as I could muster, "You know, guys, I'm having a hard time listening to you and chasing your brother. I can't talk to anyone until we get into the van."

Good job, Mommy. You handled that like a pro. That should solve all the world's problems.

"Mommy?"

"No. Did you hear what I just said? You have to wait until we get to the van."

Pause.

"Mommy, guess what!"

"Not until we're in the van."

Pause.

"Hey Mommy?"

"Nope. In the van."

Pause.

"Oh, Mommy, I forgot to tell you--"

"NO. Not until we're IN.THE.VAN."

Pause.

"Mommy?"

Look of death.

"Oh yeah."

Finally we reached the magical place where I could buckle Roo in, unload the bundle of things I was carrying, and plop my weary body into a comfy seat.

SIGH.

"OK, guys. We're in the van. I've had a minute to collect my thoughts. Now, what did you want to say?"

Blank stares.

"What do you mean?" (Lamb.)

"I told you guys that I couldn't talk until we were in the van. You wanted to say some things on the way and I told you to wait. Now we're here. What did you want to say?"

Pause. More blank stares.

"I don't think I needed anything. I think it was just Monkey." (Totally not the case.)

Monkey shrugs and says, "I don't know. Guess it wasn't that important."

Oh for the love.